The X-Files - 6.

writer: David Amann

director: Rob Bowman

STARRING:

David Duchovny as Special Agent Fox Mulder

Gillian Anderson as Special Agent Dana Scully

Guest Cast:

Darren McGavin as Arthur Dales

Nichole Pelerine as Sara Shipley

Max Kasch as Max Shipley

Joel McKinnon Miller as Deputy Greer

Valente Rodriguez as Walter Suarez

Diana Maria Riva as Angela Villareal

Jeremy Roberts as George Vincent

Silas Weir Mitchell as Dougie

Allen Culter as Roadblock Officer

In a nutshell, Mulder and Scully are called to Florida during a hurricane by ex-FBI agent, Arthur Dales, to investigate something weird attacking the local residents.

Plotline

Our story begins in Goodland, Florida, as Hurricane Leroy attacks the coastline. Inside one of the houses we find Mrs. Shipley hammering some boards across her door and yelling for her son. As she continues to hammer the nails in furiously, we find her son, Evan, in the laundry room trying to turn on the water taps. "There's nothing coming out!" he hollers. Hmmm ... why on earth would they need water? Tons of it pouring through the cracks in the roof. As we ponder this, we see Mrs. Shipley grab two flashlights and scurry into the laundry room to help her son. The taps refuse to issue forth the water but she spots some backing up through the floor's drain. She leans over to investigate as Evan yells out questions about his father's well-being. Hmmm ... wonder where Dad is? Mom backs away from the drain, "We need water, NOW!" and opens up the washing machine. It's full of clothes and water. Evan goes to help her tip over the machine and finds the family's cat, Reggie, hiding behind it amongst the wires. Nevermind the cat, she tells him, as she instructs him to unplug the machine and tip it over from behind. With Mom pulling from the front and Evan pushing from behind, the machine

lifts off the floor an inch or two then slams back down. Mom manages a frantic glance at the floor drain as it bubbles up again. She calls to Evan to push again and receives no answer. She looks up in time to see his hand grasping the back of the machine, "Mom!", then it disappears from view. Looking over the back, she finds her son encircled by some sort of whitish and gooey-looking tentacles. "Let him go!" she screams as she tries to dislodge him and he fights for his life. Behind her the drain now spews forth more water ... then a tentacle snakes its way out. She quickly loses her grip on her son then the washing machine as she's pulled toward the drain. Cue the music, the monsters have washed ashore.

The camera winds its way through Mulder's empty apartment as we listen to his answering machine receiving a message from ex-FBI agent, Arthur Dales. He's calling from Florida and is concerned about a phone call from his neighbor. He tells Mulder to get his butt in gear.

Next we see Arthur in his trailer pouring himself a glass of water from a leaky tap. He positions himself in front of a radio scanner, the glass now topped off with ice cubes and bourbon, and listens in on the local cops discussing the mystery of the disappearing Shipleys. Their only car is still in the garage, the house is boarded up and they're nowhere to be seen. A light illuminates his face through the window in front of him. He struggles to get up, hobbling to the door supported by his cane. The wind grabs the door from his hand as he opens it, nearly slamming into the two people standing on his doorstep clad in black raincoats. Surprise, it's Mulder and Scully, wonder how he talked her into *this* assignment?! After mindless chit-chat about people not usually travelling during hurricanes, as our agents are soaked to the bone by the rain pelting down on them, Dales finally let's them in.

Scully shakes off her raincoat hood, looking absolutely fab with her hair all wet and hanging over her lovely face, tendrils sticking to her rosy cheeks ... oh, sorry, I got sidetracked there. Mulder looks pretty good too, but his hair's too short to have the same stunning effect ;-) Dales has to be introduced to Scully as he's never seen her before and it seems Mulder never bothered to mention her in the conversation these two apparently had off-screen. As she wipes her hands on a paper towel, Mulder says he told her what Dales told him and Scully's not the type to be easily persuaded (that's an understatement). Scully says, "I don't hear a story about a sea monster and automatically assume it's the Lord's gospel truth." Ummm ... sea monster? That wasn't covered on the answering machine message. Off-screen chit-chat, not my favorite way of starting an episode. Anyway, Dales wants to know why Mulder brought Scully along and he says she was familiar with Dales' work on the early X-Files cases and knows how to get to the bottom of things. As she deposits her paper towel in the garbage can, Scully notices two empty liquor bottles. Apparently Mr. Dales knows how to get to the bottom of things as well, she observes.

Dales just laughs it off (with a nice camera shot from behind the lid of the garbage can as it closes to show Dales laughing) then tells Scully about his concern for his neighbors, The Shipleys. Sara called him saying something had grabbed her husband, Jack, in the bathroom "of all places" (chortle, snicker ... we ALL know what happens to people in the bathroom on this show, nice one, boys. Well, there are some real stinkers coming up, might as well acknowledge one of the good ones ;-) and choked him around the neck with what she described as tentacles. Jack and Sara are both marine biologists, or "were". Dales is worried and the local cops are "about as helpful as a fart in a windstorm". Mulder gets a kick out of this juvenile joke and laughs. Scully glares at him, not amused. Dales offers that he'd be out there looking himself but for his bad hip. Mulder doesn't think it's a night fit for man nor beast, but Dales doesn't think there's a choice. Mulder takes the order and heads for the door, Scully reluctantly follows, asking Dales what brought him here in the first place. The weather, he says, and Scully lets out a snort as she pulls on her hood. "Don't sneer at the mysteries

of the deep, young lady. The bottom of the ocean is as deep and dark as the imagination." Oooooo! Heavy stuff, Art. Love that "Kolchak" growl in McGavin's voice here (ask your parents, kids). Mulder grasps Scully's shoulder, they share a look which says "here we go again" and he leads her out the door. The wind whips the door out of Mulder's hand, he holds it open for her and they're off, slamming the door shut behind them.

Now we're inside the deserted Shipley house, the camera panning the room to show a picture of the previously happy family hanging crookedly on the wall. Mulder bursts through the boarded-up door and the agents enter carrying huge flashlights to pierce the darkness. No one answers their calls and Mulder notes how well boarded up the place is but from the inside, how did they get out?

As Scully stays in the living room, calling out and shining her flashlight up the stairs, we see Mulder walk behind her. Watch closely and you'll see him put the big flashlight down on the couch and take a

teeny tiny one out of his back pocket. Why, I don't know, just pointing out the switcheroo. He even leaves the big one on as you can see it shining on the wall. Not much help to Scully, if that was its purpose. Anyway, with his teeny beam illuminating his path, he walks through the kitchen and into the laundry room where he spies clothing on the floor by the drain. He walks over to the washing machine and notices a slimy substance on the water pipe behind it. Naturally, as he appears to be hit by a serious case of dementia, forgetting the previous 5 years of his life, he sticks his hand in it. Ewwww. It becomes attached to him, stretching out like cheap cheese on a pizza as he walks away from the

washing machine towards Scully as she enters.

Suddenly the lid on the machine rises and falls with a slam. They both stand and stare as it opens and closes again. Looking around, Mulder pulls out a broom, not sure if he needs "my gun or a harpoon here". Scully keeps her flashlight trained on the machine as they slowly walk toward it. Mulder very carefully pries the lid open with the broom handle and starts to open it when .... ROWR! Out leaps the Shipley's cat, Reggie, soaked from whisker to pad. As our agents catch their breath, Reggie heads out into the pouring rain and Scully speaks for the curious audience, "How the hell did the cat get in the washing machine?" Mulder's no help at all, "Maybe he was taking a dip. After he finished boarding up the windows."

Mulder walks back to the living room and Scully soon follows, changing the size of *her* flashlight enroute and off-screen. She scans the small beam over the crooked picture Mulder is looking at, the same one we saw earlier hanging next to a completely boarded-up room. She exchanges a glance with Mulder. "Must be the bathroom. Dales told me the wife told him that the husband was grabbed from the bathroom." he clumsily explains, forgetting Scully was right there with him in Dales' trailer

when we learned this for ourselves. The switcheroo on the flashlights now makes sense as he pops his into his mouth and begins pulling on the boards across the door. Scully soon joins him, her flashlight now in her mouth as well.

A voice behind them shouts out, "Well, howdy do!", they spin around, their beams landing on Deputy Greer holding a gun on them. With their hands in the air, he asks them what they're doing and they struggle to answer as the flashlights bounce up and down in their mouths. Cute scene. They're allowed to remove them and try to explain that they're FBI but Deputy Greer isn't being fooled, "Don't all the nuts roll downhill to Florida." (Writer's choice for line of the evening, apparently, it's repeated twice more. Florida residents claim it's usually heard as "Don't all the nuts roll downhill to California." but let's not go there!) Greer calls in via his radio and begins apprehending his B & E (Break and Enter) suspects, laughing off Arthur Dales as a drunk when Mulder says he called them there. Well, what else would they be doing out there, Scully wants to know. They could be looters, Greer says, and "For all I know, you could be part of the Manson family." Our damp heroes just look up at him, the height of innocence and harmlessness.

Suddenly the wet cat, Reggie, appears out of nowhere and with a ROWR is gone out the living room window. With his attention drawn to the cat, Deputy Greer is momentarily distracted and Mulder snatches the opportunity and the deputy's gun. Greer slowly raises his hands, sure he's about to be killed. Mulder would like nothing more. Scully shows off her nifty FBI badge with a don't-you-look-stupid smile and the deputy's finally convinced they're for real. Disgusted with the whole thing, Scully goes out to the car, leaving the boys to rip off the boards on the bathroom. Greer sheepishly asks for his gun back which Mulder releases with a smile. The flashlight's back in his mouth as they start pulling off the boards.

Later, we see Scully sitting in the car, the rain hammering down on the roof as she yells to be heard on her cell phone. She hangs up just as Mulder enters the car. He tells her they didn't find anyone in the bathroom, just more of that slime and water all over the floor as if someone had left the taps running. She's not surprised by any of this, in fact she barely cares and is more concerned that the airport might be closed down. Gee, ya think so, Scully? Mulder asks if she isn't the least bit curious what happened to the Shipleys but she's more suspicious of Dale's story being "fueled by more than his imagination and not much deeper than the bottom of a highball." Mulder stands up for him, reminding her that Dales discovered the X-Files 40 years ago. "He's seen things that I've only read about." Sure, Mulder, she tells him, because sea monsters only exist in books. Good old skeptical Scully, after all she's seen and touched, not going to budge an inch. Mulder goes into documentary film narrator voice, saying "If the sea is where life began - where our ancestors first walked ashore - then who's to say what new life may be developing in its uncharted depths." After contemplating her partner for a moment, Scully cracks me up by wondering if he really is a member of the Manson family. She's fed up with all of this, there's nothing they can do, let the local cops handle it and haven't they both done their duty for Dales? Mulder flashes her that puppy dog patented pout of his and says they should at least tell him they're giving up. Scully's face tells us she can't argue with that and she seems to relent.

Deputy Greer's flashlight shines on the crooked family picture inside the Shipley's house as he investigates, muttering to himself about needing a drink. He walks past the floor drain in the laundry room as the water bubbles up. Kneeling down, he tries to pry off the cover with his fingers but can't move it so he pulls a tool off his belt (a multi-task tool, I believe it's called a Leatherman?) and works the cover loose. The water now appears blue as it bubbles slightly. Being a braver (or simply dumber) man than I, he proceeds to shove his arm down the drain completely up to his elbow to pull out the obstruction. He pulls out Evan Shipley's football jersey and holds it up for further inspection.

Cut to outside as Mulder and Scully are stopped at a roadblock by an officer telling them they'll need to find a dry place to spend the night, the road ahead's washed out. Scully's desperate to get out of

there, this is an emergency, what about the airport? The officer says there's no way the airport will be open, can't she see the damn hurricane? Well, that's what I was thinking actually, not what he said

:-) They're told to drive to the first safe place they can find. Scully tries to flash her fancy FBI badge but she's stopped again after the officer spews out the nuts rolling downhill line. Mulder thanks him and rolls up the window quickly. He's right ticked now as he spins the car around and peels off back in the direction they came from. "I was just one howdy do over the line."

Meanwhile, somehow avoiding running into the only other car on the only road that seems to functioning, Deputy Greer arrives outside The Breakers, a condominium complex eerily dark save for some emergency floodlights and seemingly lifeless. He stops his vehicle, leaving the blue lights on his roof flashing so Mulder and Scully can easily spot him later in the show. Well, there's no other reason I can see. The dispatcher's voice comes through on his radio, "Car 54, please report back to base." Groan, youngsters ask your parents about the show "Car 54, Where Are You?". The dispatcher tells him that there's a flash flood warning in his area and all mobile units are being asked to stay off the road. Greer tells her he's just going to pop into The Breakers and check on the people trapped in there. After he pulls the car into a carport, the blue light still visable from the road, he gets out and enters the building. An unseen passenger alights from the car. Reggie, the still wet cat, drops down from the undercarriage and runs off outside.

Greer walks down one of the hallways inside the building, knocking on doors and calling out for anyone to answer him but no one does. He knocks on the manager's door and it swings open. He enters slowly, one hand on his gun holster and the other shining his flashlight around the apartment, calling out to the unseen occupant. He pulls out his gun as he kicks open the bathroom door. He's greeted by a horrific sight. A figure is seated on the toilet, its pants around its ankles, the only part of the slimy blob recognizable as human. Greer moves closer, putting his gun away. He sees a worm-like creature slither inside the blob then is suddenly grabbed by a tentacle that shoots out at him. As

it chokes him, he struggles to regain his gun but it's useless. He screams for his life.

Back outside, struggling to see through the driving rain, we find Mulder and Scully in their car. She manages to contact the sheriff's office on her cellphone and gives them their location. Mulder mocks her silently when she agrees with whoever's on the phone that it is indeed a pretty dumb move to be out in this weather. Just as she's about to get directions to the nearest emergency shelter, her phone cuts off and she hangs up in anger. Mulder tries to smooth the waters, if you'll pardon the pun, saying they'll look back on this one day and laugh. Just try to think of it all as a test of their mettle. Scully's not amused. "I don't need my mettle tested." Before she really lets loose with her feelings, something bumps on the roof. A tree branch, Mulder thinks. Shouldn't they pull over then, away from the trees, Scully queries. Can't dodge trees in a parked car, Mulder says, at least they're a moving target this way. Scully manages to sum up my feelings on this episode and the season thus far, "We don't know where we are and we don't know where we're going." Despite that zero visibility problem Mulder mentioned earlier, he spots the flashing blue light from Deputy Greer's car and he stops in front of The Breakers condo.

Now using the big honking flashlights, so darn big they come with their own handles and straps, the agents get out, recognizing Greer's vehicle as they pass through the carport. They enter the building and find the door open to the manager's apartment. Deputy Greer's on the floor just outside the bathroom, nasty red welts all over his neck, struggling to breathe. Scully checks his pulse and concludes he needs a trach (tracheotomy) or he'll die. As she goes to get what she needs, Mulder

shines the flashlight into the bathroom where he sees a bundle of clothes and the slime all over the toilet. He steps over Greer to investigate. Once again throwing caution to the wind, Mulder digs into

the slimey toilet to recover a man's watch. "I've heard of passing the time ... Ouch." I'm so glad Scully didn't overhear this groaner and so sorry that I did. Ouch is right, Mulder.

Mulder exits the bathroom as Scully returns to her patient. She kneels down, a ballpoint pen top clenched in her teeth and asks Mulder to hold Greer's head steady for her. Mulder's a bit squeamish but he does it as she fishes out Greer's Leatherman tool from his belt and finds a blade to cut his throat with. Mulder looks away as she slices and dices then asks what the red marks on his neck could be. Scully's not sure but he's having a reaction to something and they need a medivac unit for him as soon as possible. Mulder's theory is that something came up through the plumbing, right through the toilet, and if so, he has to check that the building is cleared of people. He heads out into the hallway as she uses Greer's radio to call his dispatch. Cut to Arthur Dales listening in on the conversation via his scanner, a nearly empty bottle of booze by his side, a little too pleased that he was right and something IS out there. Something Scully calls unidentified. "Unidentified? My ass!" he laughs.

We cut to the upper level of the condo as Mulder knocks on a few unanswered doors. He spots a man leaving one of the apartments ... carrying a television set. He asks if the man needs any help, already

skeptical about his intentions. Another man overhears them and comes out of his apartment, grateful to see anyone that might be able to help him and his pregnant wife. Uh oh, you know this is going to be trouble. She's a week overdue. Trouble! Mulder asks if this man, Walter Suarez, if he knows the man with the TV and he confirms that he doesn't. Mulder fixes him with a stare. The looter says, "I'll put it back." and heads back inside the apartment. "Yeah. Everything in your pockets, too." Mulder says before Suarez leads him to his wife in their apartment.

We find a very pregnant and rather snarly Angela Villareal seated on the couch, surrounded by a ton of lit candles, I'm surprised they can still breathe in the place. Mulder tries to assure her she'll be safe from whatever may have attacked the deputy but they need to come with him down to the manager's apartment. Angela takes a jab at Walter and his lack of a job, nevermind a car and is right miffed when Mulder says there may be something in the plumbing. "That's great. I have to go to the bathroom about every ten seconds." She pushes past the boys and heads towards the hallway. Walter can't think of anyone else who might be in the building except for George Vincent down on the first floor. He just yelled "go away" when Walter asked for help, typical of his anti-social behaviour. Walter scurries off when Angela bellows for him.

Next we see Mulder pounding on George's door (hope he blew out all those candles before he left Walter and Angela's apartment). He slides open a small window on his door from the other side, yells at Mulder to stop, then slams it shut again. This action continues as Mulder identifies himself, then he has to lean down and talk through the peephole, trying to explain that George's life may be in danger if he doesn't evacute his apartment. George tells Mulder to stop harassing him, he's armed to the

teeth in there and ready for anything they throw at him. Mulder says, "you may not be armed for what it is I'm talking about." But George is a lost cause, spouting off about Cuba, Castro and revolutionaries as Mulder rolls his eyes. The window slams shut again and it's Mulder's turn to echo the nuts rolling down to Florida line that has become very aggravating to hear.

Back in the manager's apartment, Scully covers Deputy Greer with a blanket as Walter and Angela hold flashlights on him to help her see. They appear to have brought their candles with them, they're lit up all over the place. Scully explains that Greer is getting worse and may have been attacked by a water-borne parasite. Angela whacks Walter on the arm, "You see what happens when you live in a dump?" They both wonder where Harry, the manager, is and point to the crutches he always uses

leaning against the wall. Dougie, the looter, walks in and Mulder follows, asking Scully to speak with him in private out in the hallway. As she leaves, Angela asks Dougie who he is and he says he's nobody. "Nobody? Oh, well, it is so nice to be surrounded by so many great men." Such venom, such a fighter, such a pain in the butt.

Out in the hallway, Mulder tries convincing Scully that they need to get out there. They can put the deputy in his car and take him to the hospital. But Scully tells him they're stuck whether they like it or

not, the roads are impassable and they can't risk moving the deputy in his condition. In his apartment, George listens in and loads his gun. He begins to pace, giving us a full view of his unique decorating style. I like CarriK's description, "Late 20th Century Disgruntled American Soldier". Guns and flags everywhere, along with a nice poster for the movie, "The Great Escape". He mutters to himself, calling our heroes "jack-booted fascists", saying he doesn't need any help defending his home. As he quietly rants, the camera pans to the light fixture on his ceiling as it fills with water. A tentacle appears in silhouette.

Cut to the manager's apartment as Scully examines the conscious Deputy Greer, a thermometer in his mouth, a red bandana on her face as a make-shift mask. The rest of her outfit consists of an apron with a drawing of a woman on the front (at this point, the apron's front is clean, the drawing suddenly appears shortly), a huge pair of thick reading glasses and yellow kitchen gloves. She still manages to make it look good. Scully can see something under the skin and Angela hands her a pair of tongs when asked, waving them over a candle flame to disinfect them. Mulder checks the thermometer, "either he's got no temperature or he's about to spontaneously combust." Scully has a look, reads a

temperature of 106 and turns to look at Dougie, the looter as she says someone has to fill the bathtub with cold water and gather as much ice as they can. Dougie protests that that thing's in the plumbing but Scully's not taking any guff. Deputy Greer won't survive if they don't lower his temperature, "Now get moving!" He moves reluctantly into the bathroom.

In a scene very reminiscent of the classic episode, Ice, Scully pulls a small worm-like creature out of Greer's neck with the tongs. As she holds it up, it squirms in her grip, making Angela a little nauseous. Scully asks for a container and tells Mulder to lift up the deputy and get him to the bathtub. We only see Mulder begin to pick up Greer before the scene changes. Not a chance he could do it alone, the deputy's a big boy. In the bathroom, ice cubes are poured into the tub as the water faucet is turned on. It stops for a second, the pipes seem to groan, then the water flows into the tub. Dougie moves away as Walter and Mulder lower the deputy into the bathtub. While they settle the body in

the tub, Dougie spots the watch Mulder pulled out of the toilet and he grabs it, slimey as it still is, and swiftly stuffs it in his pocket before anyone notices. His self-satisfied smirk disappears as they hear

gunshots then shouts of panic coming from George's apartment.

Everyone rushes to the door but only Mulder ventures into the hallway and runs to George's door. The others peer out the doorway. Why Scully isn't right beside her partner at this point is beyond me. Handy for the script, I guess. Inside his apartment we see George freaking out, shooting at the ceiling and yelling. Mulder stands outside the door with his gun drawn, ready to roll if need be. The shooting stops and the doorknob slowly turns as George opens it and Mulder yells at him to drop his weapon. "It's gonna take a whole lot more than this to kill whatever it is I just saw."

Next we see everyone but Dougie piled into George's apartment looking up at the great big hole he blew through the ceiling and water pipe. Good thing no one was home upstairs and you can kiss your cleaning deposit goodbye, Georgie. Something swooped down at him, he says. Skeptical Scully, after holding that worm thingy in her very hands not moments before, doubts it was anything but a sewage pipe burst. Mulder says whatever it was seems to have ripped right through the pipe and it may still be in the building, perhaps in the outflow system. Maybe it'll flow back out, says Walter. George gets in his face, saying it may "come up through the can and grab you by the nugs." To which Mulder replies, "Someone's already got him by the nugs." Nice time for a slam at Angela, Mulder, sheesh. Scully's fed up again and tells everyone to calm down, they don't have any evidence that says it kills people and the deputy might be fine if he makes it through the storm. Angela expresses her need to tinkle so bad her "back teeth are swimming." Scully nods and they all turn to stare at the hole again.

Cut to the missing Dougie. He's taking care of Deputy Greer, or at least taking care of his wedding ring with the help of a little soap on the unconscious man's finger. After a bit of a struggle, it comes loose and he falls to the floor clutching his prize. He quickly closes the shower curtain, knocking over a box of Epsom salts in his haste, and leaves the bathroom. Mulder and Scully meet up with him as they arrive and ask how the deputy's doing. Dougie lies badly and says he's good. Angela comes

barging in, insisting she has to use the bathroom (I was pregnant once, honey, I feel your pain, believe me!) but Walter tries to stop her, frightened of the monster loose in the plumbing. Angela maintains that the volume alone could push it back out to sea and Mulder has a revelation. The hurricane sitting offshore has dredged up whatever the heck this thing is and driven it into the city's reclamation system through some offshore outfall pipe. Just a short trip to the sewer pipes in the building from there. Scully's barely listening as she fetches a bucket for Angela and sends her into the bathroom. As she heads in, we hear the beginning of Scully's argument with Mulder, "nothing I've seen convinces me there's a monster ..."

In the bathroom, Angela sets to work with her bucket, talking to the curtain surrounding the deputy and telling him not to listen (it's a girl thing). Deputy Greer's clothing begins to move. A tentacle peeks

out from his shirt. We head back to Mulder and Scully's argument as he's saying something has been stirred up from the uncharted depths. Scully sees no evidence of an actual creature, just water-borne parasites, nothing from a Jules Verne novel. Suddenly the bickering is halted as the bathroom door bursts open and Angela runs out screaming that she saw it, it had giant arms like an octopus. Mulder quickly heads for the bathroom, everyone else slowly gathers behind him. He shines his flashlight on the closed curtain. The music swells. He pulls back the curtain swiftly, as one would remove a bandaid from an ouchie. He looks down at the tub, surprised. There's nothing in it but the empty box of Epsom salts, a bit of slime, and the deputy's uniform which he holds up to show everyone. They're all still hanging around the doorway, not daring to come any closer. "I think the deputy went out with the bathwater."

We can almost see the wheels turning in Mulder's brain as he offers up another theory. This thing doesn't just live in water, it IS water and only takes on a shape when attacking. Scully holds up the container with the worm she pulled from Greer's neck saying if that were true then they wouldn't be able to see it, right? In fact, this proves that water tries to kill the creature. Mulder's not listening, regardless of what he says later, and says that maybe the water has just stopped it from reproducing and it needs time to develop like it had with the Shipleys. They may not have found them but they had to have been there when they were attacked just like the deputy. The creature used their bodies water

content to reproduce. In effect, the bodies became the creatures. Mulder starts to panic, saying they have to get out there but Scully reminds him they're trapped during the hurricane. Surmising they can move everyone to another building with the two cars, Mulder does a head count. One's missing, Dougie, your friendly neighborhood looter. Mulder races out to find him and checks the carport. It's empty, Dougie's taken the deputy's car. Mulder starts to run back to the apartment when Scully calls out that they should leave right away. Something above him catches Mulder's eye. The light fixture is filling with water ... tentacles are slithering around in the moisture. Run, Mulder, get the heck outta

there, boy! Ruuuuun! He doesn't listen, naturally, just stands almost directly under it, his flashlight in hand and stares for an hour or so at the hypnotizing pattern it makes on the glass. Suddenly it pulls back and disappears from view. He stands with his mouth agape ... it crashes through the glass and falls toward him.

The scene cuts to AFTER all the blood-curdling action, naturally, to find Mulder struggling down the hallway, supporting himself against the wall and falling to his knees. His hand on his neck, he looks up as Scully finally emerges from the apartment she seems to be chained to and asks if he's okay. He tries to speak but sprints up to her instead, showing her his battle scars and wincing in great pain. His neck and throat are covered in angry, red sucker-like marks from his encounter with the creature. Before Scully has a chance to react, gun-toting George grabs her by the arm and pulls her into the apartment, slamming the door on Mulder. She's thrown against Walter and Angela as they cower

behind her. George points his gun inches away from Scully's face as she yells at him that she can't leave her partner out there to die. But George refuses to let Mulder in. What can she do for him anyway, Walter pipes up as Angela pulls away from him (she doesn't look well), she couldn't save the deputy (and how many others started singing a mangled version of "I Shot The Sheriff" adding "but I couldn't save the deputy"? ... Oh, nevermind then). Scully finally pipes up that she's a doctor and

right on cue, Angela calls out from the bathroom doorway, "That's good ... because my water just broke."

Meanwhile, out in the hallway, Mulder's sitting on the floor with his back against the wall and having trouble breathing. He shines his flashlight to see another creature swirling around in the light fixture

above him. Having learned his lesson, he struggles to his feet and stumbles down the hallway toward the open doorway at the end. He nervously keeps checking behind him as he runs.

Back inside the apartment, Walter grabs another pillow off the couch to help support Angela as she lies down on the floor. George continues to point the gun in Scully's face, saying there doesn't seem to much of a choice, is there? Scully stares at him then issues forth with the silliest thing she could say under the circumstances, "We're gonna need water." Water?! Ya got plenty of water, Scully, it just attacked your partner, remember?! Anyway, Walter leaps up to help and they rustle around the kitchen collecting what they need. Scully grabs a new pair of yellow household gloves and tells George to put the gun down, she'll be delivering the baby. Now George asks how they know she's really a doctor and Scully tells him they don't. Fact is, she's never delivered a baby before (awfully hard to believe) so just get out of her way or make yourself useful. You tell 'em, Scully.

Cut to Mulder as he continues to run down the neverending hallway. He stumbles and falls with his head nearly touching the doorway leading outside. One half of the door bangs open and closed in the wind as the rain beats down.

Quick cut to a screaming Angela, deep in labour with Walter supporting her from behind shouting encouragement and Scully kneeling between her legs telling her to push. George stands to the side watching. He feels something drip down on him and looks up to see the light fixture filling with water. He's transfixed as Scully calls out for towels then shakes himself out of it and goes off to find them. As he moves away, Scully spies the fixture and is momentarily concerned but soon turns her attention to the matters at hand. Angela's breathing hard, pushing with all her might.

Back to the hallway, Mulder's still lying on the floor. He's breathing hard as well, gasping for every precious breath. Suddenly he hears a meow from outside and he turns to meet the eyes of tonight's true hero, Reggie, the damp cat. Soaked to the skin actually, as he sits in the rain casually washing himself a few feet away from Mulder. Close-up of Mulder's face ... close-up on the cat ... Mulder's face ... the cat ... Mulder's face ... the cat ... The tension builds to previously unreachable heights as I scream out, "It's the rain, you nimrod, the rain's saving his life!!"

As I begin to hyperventilate, we cut back to the light fixture, all eyes but Angela's now upon it as they anticipate what's to come. Scully's in full labor mode, "Puuuuuush!" sneaking glances at the light. As a tentacle appears in the fixture she says, "Here it comes" then hunkers down to deliver the incoming baby. She puts her hands in a bucket of water next to her to rinse off then thinks better of it, staring at her hands and then up at the light fixture. George shows some concern then Scully shouts out, "It's the water!" right as Angela starts having the baby. In between yells and pushes, Angela keeps looking at the light as everyone can see the tentacle growing in size and whipping around in a frenzy. It suddenly bursts through the glass and whips out at the closest neck, George's. As it pulls him off his feet, he drops his gun. Then the baby is born into Scully's hands and she yells at Walter to grab the gun. With one arm supporting Angela, he reaches over and picks it up. Scully orders him to shoot out the sprinklers. He tries to aim but George keeps swinging into his line of fire as he struggles against the attack. He finally gets a clear shot and takes it, blasting at the sprinkler.

Time has passed and we're now outside Arthur Dale's trailer, the sun shining, the leaves on the fallen trees waving in a gentle breeze. Scully's leaning against their car and talking on her cellphone. She

hangs up and walks toward the trailer. Inside we find Mulder proudly showing Dales his wounds under his nifty white turtleneck. Scully enters to announce the baby's official name and weight: "Ten pounds, ten ounces of piss and vinegar. El nino grande - Leroy Walter Villareal Suarez, Jr." Mulder laughs and Dales sits back to analyze it all.

He's just amazed that Scully came down to chase a sea monster and ended up not only slaying the monster but bringing a new life into the world and saving Mulder's at the same time. And with one arm tied behind her back while balancing on a rickety chair, I might add! Mulder protests that she didn't really save him but Scully reminds him that he wouldn't have known to go out in the rain if she hadn't told him the fresh water would kill the organism. No, no, no, he counters, he figured it out when he saw the cat. He tries to explain it all to Dales, but it's hopeless. Dales has stars in his eyes the shape of Scully's radiant face, saying Mulder owes her his life. He admits that if he'd had someone like her by his side, maybe he wouldn't have quit the X-Files all those years ago. Our agents both find something fascinating to study in the carpet as they look down embarassed at this display of emotion.

With a pat to Mulder's shoulder, Dales insists they drink a toast to Mulder's good fortune. He hobbles off to the bar set up by his kitchen sink asking what they'd like to drink and picking up the only bottle on the counter. Jokingly he offers them a drink a water and they both snap their heads around and yell out, "No!" Fade to black.

Notes

Once a fool had a good part in the play

If it's so would I still be here today

It's quite peculiar in a funny sort of way

They think it's very funny everything I say

Get a load of him, he's so insane

You better get your coat dear

It looks like rain ....

Is the nightmare black

Or are the windows painted

Will they come again next week

Can my mind really take it?

from Elton John's "Madman Across The Water"

While I haven't given up on the show and DO look forward to next week, I have to say this is my least favorite episode of the season to date. The episode's writer, David Amann, also wrote Terms Of Endearment, another one which didn't go over well with me. Not as bad as some of the stinkers of the past (see Space or Teso dos Bichos, ironically another Spanish title starring a cat) but it was a bit of a mess. A horror movie spoof? A chance for Scully to shine? Maybe an opportunity to explore Arthur Dales character? Or was it just another MOTW (Monster Of The Week) and I should lower my expectations? If they had made up their minds maybe it'd be easier for me to do so. I've seen far better and I've seen much worse, this one just didn't do a thing for me although many disagreed. After last week's overblown two-parter, a lot of folks were desperate for a mindless trip down Monster Memory Lane and they got it. All it did for me was stir up memories of Squeeze, Ice and The Host all much better MOTWs.

There were brief flashes of fun in this ep, not counting the inane toilet humour gags and Autumn Tysko <http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/1411/main_rev.html> described one perfectly: "I think my favorite shot was of the damp dynamic duo performing flashlight fellatio hands in the air." Flashlight fellatio?! Cracked me up, good one, Autumn, slap a patent on it before it ends up in Webster's.

Although I did have problems with Scully's character, what with hanging around doorways instead of joining her partner and finding out she's never delivered a baby before (yeah, right), I wasn't too concerned with her giving up on Mulder to deliver the baby. Rather hopeless situation with a gun to her head and a madman behind the trigger. If she had tried to play the hero and go for the gun, who's to say the bullets wouldn't have started flying? She had to think about the others in the room as well and hope Mulder would be able to help himself.

Sure, Scully's pen and Leatherman tracheotomy was pretty cool, but she's not the first doc on TV to use it. Just recently, "ER"'s Dr. Ross pulled it off after saving a kid in a storm drain. Eons before him both Father Mulcahy on "M*A*S*H" and Gage and DeSoto on "Emergency" had to use it as well.

The title is Spanish for "bad water" and the the word "aguamala" (written as one word, not two) means "jellyfish" to Spanish-Americans.

We last saw Arthur Dales in Travelers. Alas, he was as underused and wasted in this one as he was in that one. Why are the boys at 1013 afraid to let him loose? I'd love to see Darren McGavin in a REAL role on the series. Anything's better than this sad old drunk in a bathrobe. Even without Scully beside him, I don't think Mulder would ever end up like this.

Jules Verne, mentioned in this episode, is credited with the ultimate what's-under-the-water story with his famous novel, "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea":

"The great depths of the ocean are entirely unknown to us. Soundings cannot reach them. What passes in those remote depths -- what beings live, or can live, twelve or fifteen miles beneath the surface of the waters -- what is the organisation of these animals, we can scarcely conjecture."

More than a few of us got a kick out of seeing Evan Shipley's football jersey, the first time we saw the name spelled out and realized it may allude to 'shippers (people who want Mulder and Scully to have a relationship beyond the job). Cute dig. And as a matter of interest, Dan Marino, the quarterback for The Miami Dolphins wears a jersey of the same number and color.

With all of these people getting offed in the bathroom, you just know someone's going to ask about previous bathroom mishaps on the show. Laura Witte's got all the answers on the X-Files in the Bathroom site <http://members.home.net/laurawitte/xfbathrm.html>, just part of her excellent site, The X-Files In-Jokes List <http://www.nashville.com/~subterfuge/xfiljoke.html>.

Quotes

____________________

Arthur Dales: "Who's this?"

Scully: "Special Agent Dana Scully."

Arthur Dales: "Scully?"

Mulder: "She's my partner."

(Mulder and Scully start to take off their wet raincoats)

Arthur Dales: "Uh-huh. Well, don't get too comfortable. You're going to want to get right back out

there."

Scully: "Out where?"

Arthur Dales: (to Mulder) "Did you tell her what I told you?"

Mulder: "Yes, but she's ... she's not the type that's easily persuaded."

Arthur Dales: (smiles) "Is that so?"

Scully: (drying her hands on a paper towel) "What he means is I don't hear a story about a sea

monster and automatically assume it's the Lord's gospel truth."

Arthur Dales: (to Mulder) "Why did you bring her here?"

Mulder: "Well, she knows your reputation, your early work on the X-Files and she has a knack for

getting to the bottom of things."

(Scully sees several empty liquor bottle in the garbage can)

Scully: "Apparently, so does Mr. Dales."

Arthur Dales: "It's a good thing I have a reputation. Otherwise, how could it be impugned?"

____________________________________________________________

Scully: "What is it that brought you out here in the first place, Mr. Dales?"

Arthur Dales: "I came down for the weather. Don't sneer at the mysteries of the deep, young lady.

The bottom of the ocean is as deep and dark as the imagination."

____________________________________________________________

Deputy Greer: "You have the right to remain silent."

Mulder: "Arthur Dales called us."

Deputy Greer: "Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have a right to a lawyer.

If you don't have one..."

Mulder: "Does that name mean anything to you? Arthur Dales?"

Deputy Greer: (smiling) "I know Dales."

Mulder: "All right."

Deputy Greer: (laughing) "I got a call from him, too. Drunk as a skunk. What's new?"

Scully: "Well, what else would we be doing out here on a night like this?"

Deputy Greer: "You could be looters. For all I know, you could be part of the Manson family."

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "Aren't you even curious what happened to these people?"

Scully: "Yes, I'm curious, Mulder, but I'm also suspicious. I mean, I... I think that Mr. Dales' story is

fueled by more than his imagination and not much deeper than the bottom of a highball."

Mulder: "Don't dismiss him so easily. He discovered the X-Files 40 years ago. He's seen things that

I've only read about."

Scully: "Because sea monsters can only be read about, Mulder, because they don't exist."

Mulder: (in nature documentary narrator voice) "If the sea is where life began - where our ancestors

first walked ashore - then who's to say what new life may be developing in its uncharted

depths."

Scully: "You know what? Maybe you are a member of the Manson family."

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "You know, Scully, someday we're gonna look back on this and we're gonna laugh. We'll just

think of it as, uh... you know man pitted against the forces of nature. Think of it as a test of

our mettle."

Scully: "I don't need my mettle tested."

____________________________________________________________

Walter: "Where did it go?"

Mulder: "I don't know. It must still be in the building. It's probably in the outflow system."

Walter: "Well, maybe it'll just flow back out."

George: "Or maybe it'll come up through the can and grab you by the nugs."

Mulder: "Someone's already got him by the nugs."

____________________________________________________________

Angela: (pushing her way to the bathroom) "Supertanker coming through."

Walter: "Here, Angela, you can't go in there."

Angela: "My bladder is pressing against your unborn child, Walter. He's going to have a head like a

tortilla."

Walter: "This thing is in the plumbing!"

Angela: "The volume alone could push it right back out to sea."

____________________________________________________________

Arthur Dales: "Oh, it's amazing. It's truly amazing."

Scully: "What's that?"

Arthur Dales: "That you could come here in the face of a hurricane chasing a sea monster, yet, and

end up bringing a new life into the world. And then slaying the monster and save this

one's life as he was quite literally circling down the drain."

Mulder: "She didn't save my life, really ..."

Arthur Dales: "Oh, yes, she did. Oh yes, yes, with a gun to her head, no less."

Scully: "Well, you wouldn't have known to go out in the rain if I hadn't pointed it out that to you that it

was the fresh water that killed the organism ..."

Mulder: "No. No, no, no, no, I saw the Shipley's cat."

Arthur Dales: "Uh, well, I can't swallow that ..."

Mulder: "No, no, no. I saw the cat, which had been saved which had been in the washing machine.

And the Shipleys had boarded up their house which means that the only way that they could

have vanished was if the creature came up through the plumbing in a backwash of seawater

... seawater. And then the deputy who vanished from a bathtub full of Epsom salts."

Arthur Dales: "If Agent Scully had not been there with you I shudder to think what would have

happened to you. I'd say you owe her your life. It takes a big man to admit this, but ... if I

had had someone as savvy as her by my side all those years ago in the X-Files I might