The X-Files - 5.

German title: Die unüblichen Verdächtigen
translation: The Unusual Suspects

Italian title: Insoliti sospetto
translation: Unusual Suspicion

Japanese title: no change

Spanish title: Sospechosos poco Comunes
translation: Little Common Suspects

US Airdate: November 16, 1997

writer: Vince Gilligan

director: Kim Manners

STARRING:

David Duchovny as Special Agent Fox Mulder

Guest Cast:

Bruce Harwood as John Fitzgerald Byers

Dean Haglund as Ringo Langly

Tom Braidwood as Melvin Frohike

Richard Belzer as Detective Munch

Steven Williams as Mr. X

Signy Coleman as Susanne Modeski

Ken Hawryliw as Himself

Chris Nelson Norris as SWAT Lieutenant

Stuart O'Connell as 1st SWAT Cop

Glenn Williams as Officer

Ever wondered how The Lone Gunmen came to be? How did Mulder meet them? What was Scully doing in 1989? This hour will answer the first 2 questions anyway! Finally, The Lone Gunmen get the air time they deserve, a whole hour all to themselves. Well, Mulder and that Susanne chick butted in, and they did have to share time with the gloriously nasty X, but it still worked out to a full hour to revel in the Gunmen, ahhhhhh.

Plotline

Don't blink, or you'll miss the most important part of the ep, the HUGE numbers declaring the year 1989. Yes, it's a flashback, deal with it okay? You have no idea how many people couldn't get past this simple fact. It's not a rerun you've never seen before, it's a flashback, get on with your lives people!

Okay, so it's 1989, and we're in Fells Point Industrial Park, Baltimore, Maryland, as a SWAT team piles out of a van (nitpick numero uno, Baltimore doesn't have a SWAT team, they have the QRT, or Quick Response Team). The team leader talks to a cop on the scene to get the low-down. The warehouse they're positioned outside of has its door jimmied, at least a dozen shots have rung out inside and no one has left the building. The team moves inside and one member points out a pool of blood on the floor. No body, but a heck of a lot of blood. They continue searching until they hear moaning coming from a cardboard box. They lift the lid to reveal a naked Mulder, in a fetal position, rocking and saying, "They're here" over and over again. With the thought that maybe someone else is inside the building, the team leader directs his men to continue the search as he keeps an eye on Mulder. From the depths of the warehouse, three figures scurry away from their hiding places among the boxes. It's the men we will soon be calling The Lone Gunmen, standing with their hands up, begging the SWAT team not to shoot them. As they assume the position (flat on their faces on the floor, hands behind their backs to be cuffed), they lift their heads as Mulder's mantra becomes louder. "THEY'RE HERE!!!". Cue the music, The Lone Gunmen are indeed here.

The scene is now the Homicide Unit of the Baltimore City Police Department and the date is May of 1989 (see? the date's even stamped here in case you missed it, what were you people watching?!). We see Byers in a jail cell, his hands through the bars as he looks at his fingerprint ink soiled fingertips. "We're screwed." Langly laments, as he blames "Dohickey" for their troubles and Frohike calls him a "hippie jerk". This name calling soon escalates into a near fist-fight with Frohike reminding Langly that his long blonde hair puts him first on the list of Who Will Be Traded For Cigarettes inside The Joint. Byers shuts them up, which only makes Langly call him a narc (slang term for one who rats out on his buddies or tells the cops everything; also could mean, in this situation, one who works for the cops, an insider or undercover guy, as "narc" is short for "narcotics agent" and is usually used by people doing illegal things. Note that both Langly and Frohike were selling items at the trade show that would cause someone working for the FCC, like Byers, to definitely "narc out" on) and they now blame him for putting them there. Before a fight breaks out, Byers is called for questioning, "you first", although we never do get to see anyone else questioned, darn it.

In the questioning room, Detective Munch enters to talk to Byers, who asks if they've found "her", insisting she's real and the FBI agent saw her, really he did. Munch is not impressed as the FBI agent, Mulder, is "being held in five-point restraints, jabbering like a monkey". Munch wants the full story, starting with Byers full name and birthdate, are ya ready? "John Fitzgerald Byers, 11/22/63", he answers, which Munch assumes is a joke, but nope, he was named after JFK (the date, if you don't know already, is the day JFK was assassinated) and before the assassination his parents were going to call him Bertram. Good timing, I say ;-) Byers tells him he works for the government, for the moment, as a public affairs officer for the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) and was attending the Computer and Electronics Show at the Baltimore Convention Center that morning when the whole thing began.

We now flashback to that morning, with Byers providing the narrative as he tries to hand out buttons saying "We're Your FCC", a way of forging a bond with the public, he says, a way of saying "communication is just another way of sharing". The hippies that he offers buttons to, who say "up yours, narc!" don't seem to share that view. Byers says this is when he first saw "her" and we see a woman, wearing dark glasses as she approaches in slow-motion, lowers her glasses as Byers offers her a button, begins to say something then changes her mind and walks away. Byers says he doesn't know why he did what he did next, there was just something about her, and he leaves his post, telling the man playing Dig-Dug on the computer behind him that he's taking a break.

Byers begins to follow the woman, pretending not to when she turns around. She happens upon a booth run by the Frohike Electronics Corp. as Frohike himself greets her, "Hello, pretty lady!" and begins his sales pitch. Promising 33 channels of crystal-clear reception and no cable bill, he shows her his amazing invention (looks like a simple VCR/TV splitter thingy to me), and a voice from behind a separating curtain scoffs, it's Langly, with his own booth, Langly Vision. He's pushing an illegal cable hookup as well, they try to put each other's products down and are soon arguing, but Susanne is otherwise engaged as she scans the crowd, looking for someone, and walks away. We see Byers, still watching and following the woman and as he begins to pass Frohike's booth, Langly coughs into his hand, "Narc!" and there's silence and a look as Byers passes by. He follows Susanne and she turns a corner quickly, out of his sight. As he turns the corner in pursuit, she doubles-back (for *some* reason, hmmm..) and they collide, making her drop her purse. They crouch to pick up the contents and Byers retrieves a lipstick and a picture of a young girl. Handing it to her, he comments that she's cute and the woman agrees, standing to leave, her purse now intact. She thanks him and turns to go, but Byers implores her to wait, saying she looks like she needs help. She slowly and dramatically removes her sunglasses, his eyebrows fly up and they're now seated together in a cafeteria.

Looking at the young girl's picture, Susanne tells Byers that her daughter was taken by the girl's father, a psychotic, who left after she fell pregnant 3 years ago and suddenly reappeared 6 months ago. She's spoken to the police, so she tells Byers anyway, but they were no help. She has some leads, though, and for a start, knows he's in Baltimore, but he apparently now knows she's looking for him and is becoming more dangerous. Byers is taking it all in, enraptured by her story. Susanne pulls out a piece of paper from her purse, the words "Arpanet/Whtcorp/" written on it, a clue. She seems to think it has something to do with computers, the internet, and Byers tells her it's the arpanet, set up by the government's defence agency but you can access it through the internet.

Sidenote: Through all the discussion and argument it was concluded that yes, there *was* an internet in 1989, albeit not as large and popular as today, of course. When Byers later types the name into an URL box on his computer, some folks online went insane trying to convince us that an "url" didn't exist in '89. After all the fighting, we agreed that it was a mistake and no, Byers couldn't have used an URL. That's all I'm going to say about this HUGE nitpick.

Byers suggests that he go online and check things out, which delights Susanne, what an idea! He finally remembers to introduce himself to her as John and she shakes his hand, saying her name is Holly. Byers glances down at the table and sees a package of Holly Sugar. How convenient, same name as the sugar! (see the Notes for an explanation of why this is important, don't want to ruin it here). He takes her back to his booth and asks his Dig-Dug playing partner to take a break as he types in the "url". Byers asks her if her boyfriend was into computers and she says she doesn't know, all that she knows about him is that he's psychotic. Some info begins to appear on Byers' screen, he's shocked to see it's the Defense Data Network and he tells her it looks like the end of the line. She helpfully asks if he can, "how do you say..."hack" into it?" Byers' eyebrows fly up again, what is she, crazy?! This is the Defense Department here, a secured site, while he probably could hack into it, as a member of the FCC this is exactly what he's trying to stop! Her face falls in disappointment and she thanks him for his time, preparing to leave. He yells, "Wait!", then tells her "you didn't see this" as he begins to hack away.

After far too quickly gaining access, she asks him to look up Susanne Modeski, her daughter's name (yeah, right) and he types in the name (does anyone else spell this name "Susanne"? I would have typed "Suzanne" myself). Data begins to spew forth, an encrypted file, which knocks Byers for a loop. Why would her 3 year old daughter have such a file with the DOD? She asks if he can decode it, he says he can get someone else to and he begins printing it out, as per her request. She suddenly rips the paper out of the printer, grabbing Byers by the arm, telling him to hide and pulling him behind the curtain. She's spotted her ex-boyfriend, obviously looking for her. As Susanne and Byers peek from behind the curtain, we see the back of a man dressed in a trenchcoat. He turns around ... it's Mulder!

We see Mulder pass by Frohike's booth, politely turning him down when offered "33 channels of crystal-clear reception". Under his breath, after Mulder goes by, Frohike calls him a "punkass" (cracked us all up, that did, as Mulder's been called a punk online for quite some time now!). Byers' voiceover tells us that they now enlisted a hacker's help, Frohike, and Susanne comes through the back of his booth, pulling the curtain closed. As Frohike begins to think he got lucky, Byers arrives.The scene changes back to the interrogation room, Munch pacing behind Byers as he keeps twisting his head to see him. Byers says they told Frohike the whole story, hoping he could help them decipher the file. Munch continues to pace.

Back to the flashback, as Frohike raises an interesting question, "Why don't we just kick this guy's ass?". Susanne protests that she merely wants the file decoded, can he do it? Sure, he says, "my kung fu is the best" (more info in the Notes about this line) but it will take hours, why not beat it out of "pretty boy"? At least they should follow him, maybe he has the girl with him, Frohike reasons. To Susanne's protests of "stay away from him!", Frohike grabs Byers and off they go to follow Mulder.

As they hide in plain sight at another booth, Frohike wearing a dandy looking virtual reality helmet (definitely NOT made in '89, more like '94 or so), they watch Mulder speak to someone. He turns around, causing Frohike to duck behind some boxes, trying to "act casual". Byers sees Mulder stop by an alien detection product booth, the comeon recorded voice saying "They're here. Alien invaders are among us. Detect their presence with high-tech marketing products, before they detect you." Mulder picks up a device, setting off a beeping warning, he apologizes and replaces it. He then walks away, entering a doorway beside the booth. Frohike and Byers follow him and Mulder catches them, asking them if they're looking for someone. Nope, just a bathroom, they say. Mulder spots Byers' FCC button and comments on it, "what's it to ya?" asks Frohike. Mulder then flashes his FBI badge and a picture of Susanne, asking if they've seen her. Frohike flat out lies and says no, while Byers asks what she's done. "What's it to *you*?" Mulder says, then dismisses them as his cell phone rings. Surprised his coat could hold the thing, it's HUGE! He says, "Oh, hi, Reggie, what's up?", which was a reference to his partner in '89, Reggie Perdue, nice going Vince Gilligan (this ep's writer) and thanks to Autumn Tysko for pointing it out.

Byers and Frohike march back to the booth where they left Susanne, Byers shocked that her ex-boyfriend worked for the FBI. She's gone and they turn to see Byers' DigDug buddy being hauled away by the MPs (military police), saying he was only playing his game, he didn't hack into anything. Byers tries to confess, but Frohike stops him, saying a hacker never gives himself up. Byers says he's not a hacker, spitting out the word, but Frohike tells him that with the FBI and MPs running around, whatever his lady friend is involved in is big, why don't they go to a guy he knows and hack into the FBI mainframe? Byers can't believe what he's hearing, this is a premeditated crime against the government! Your second one today, says Frohike, ripping off his FCC button, "welcome to the dark side."

We hear Langly's voice asking for someone to bet 50 bucks with him, as we scan around a table of players. Must be a high stakes poker game, huh? Nope, they're playing Dungeons and Dragons, and as Langly rolls he begs for the fates to help, "Daddy needs a new sword of wounding." Before he can roll, the door opens as Frohike and Byers enter. Langly leaps up, asking why Frohike brought the narc here and is told they have a proposition for him, "the coolest hack in the world". One of his D&D friends impeaches "Lord Manhammer" to return to the game, but Langly's curiosity gets the better of him and he asks Frohike to "say it." Teeth gritted, Frohike says, "Your kung fu is the best." Langly grins, he's in!

We're now in a hotel room, as wires are plugged in from a computer, Langly's own invention that will confuse anyone trying to trace them. Byers can't handle it all and moans about going to jail, that he deserves to go to jail. Meanwhile, Langly quickly hacks into the FBI database. It's a snap, he says, he recently hacked into the DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles) and fixed it so he could park in the handicapped spots. Nasty tinnitus, you see (ringing in the ears). On the computer, they look up Mulder and find his file. All looks fine, with "commendations out the ying-yang" as Frohike so eloquently puts it, and no word on him being a psycho or having a daughter, hmmm ... Byers asks

Langly to look up Holly Modeski, which gets them no data, so he asks him to try her daughter, Susanne. Bingo! Up comes the picture and info on the woman he thought was Holly, leading Byers to be shocked once again. She's wanted by the FBI for murder and sabotage and had been employed at the Army Advanced Weapon Facility in Whiteplains, New Mexico ("Whtcorp" as Byers now realizes). She apparently blew up a lab, killing four people including an MP and is considered armed, dangerous, unstable, delusional, brilliant but a liar, psychotic and highly paranoid. What a piece of work! The boys all stare open-mouthed at each other as it all sinks in. Suddenly, the door handle begins to move, and they jump up, cowering near the back of the room with Byers in front. Susanne enters the room.

After seeing her data on the screen, she admits that she's Susanne, not Holly and had been an organic chemist for the Advanced Weapons Facility, before she quit, but she says she never blew up the lab or killed anyone. Byers asks about her daughter and she admits she doesn't have one as his face drops. She apologizes for lying, telling him the picture he saw came with the wallet. She desperately needed his help in getting the encrypted file, which holds all the info she needs to expose the government's plot against its own people (where have we heard THAT before). She unwittingly helped them by developing the ergotomine (just a guess, not a real word) gas, EH for short, which is an aerosalized spray that causes its victims to become highly paranoid and anxious. Forces within the government plan to test this spray on the public, right here in Baltimore! The boys are skeptical (really!) and Susanne becomes angry, saying that no one is safe, don't they get it, look at what they did to JFK. Byers then actually asks, "What did they do to JFK?", *sigh*, this boy needs direction and luckily he's come to the right gal. She's incredulous, "Dallas? 1963? Hello?!", says the government wants to control us "from the cradle to the grave" and begins opening the drawers next to the hotel room's beds. The boys look at each other, wondering what the heck she's doing. Susanne pulls out a Bible and asks who they think puts these in every hotel room, "the government?" asks Langly. Right on, they're the perfect listening device, who would question it? (Get it away from you then, you twit, they're listening!) Frohike can't take much more of this paranoia nonsense, how could the government that gave us the Susan B. Anthony dollar and Amtrak (both dismal failures, as time would prove) be behind such far-reaching conspiracies? The woman's obviously crazy, he says. Susanne tells them she'll prove it, just help her decipher the file. As she picks it up, a gun falls to the floor, startling them all as she begs for their help. As Byers' voiceover says, they didn't feel they had much choice.

In a darkened room full of computers (the convention?), they start to work, Frohike at the keyboard as he scans the encrypted data and the translation magically appears below the screen. It tells them that although Modeski is gone, the project will continue, with the EBO set to go in the Baltimore area in a week. Susanne tells them an EBO is an Engineered Biological Operation, toxic agents used on humans. The readout says that her "team has been processed and plausible denial has been constructed." In other words, her associates have been murdered with the blame pinned on her. The boys are beginning to think she may have been telling the truth (don't do it boys, she's a liar! Darn it, why won't they listen to me?!). The final readout has the info she was waiting for, "EH product is presented warehoused at 204 Fells Point Road, lot number #A-9000, awaiting EBO." She's thrilled to finally have the address and raring to go, but not before the readout has one more tidbit. She's being watched around the clock and covert electronic surveillance has been set up through Dr. Kilburn, her dentist! Grabbing a pair of pliers from the open tool-kit the boys brought with them, she excuses herself and enters the bathroom. Concerned, and putting two and two together, they open the door (good thing she wasn't otherwise engaged, eh?) and find her holding what looks like the right side of her cheek (as they enter, you can see it was a mirror image). She holds up the tooth she extracted (not a drop of blood in the sink either, hmmmm ...), which, when they place it under a magnifying glass, shows an electronic bug inside it! That's enough for them, Byers asks the address of that warehouse.

Back in the interrogation room, Munch asks where the tooth is (The Tooth Is Out There!) and Byers tells him they flushed it, as it might give away their location. Silence from Munch. Byers says, "so we broke into the warehouse" and the scene flashes to the warehouse as they find the box marked #A-9000. Using Frohike's switchknife, Susanne breaks open the box, uncovering a load of asthma inhalers, their random test. Glad to finally have proof, she continues ripping the box apart, only to be interrupted as Mulder appears, telling her she's under arrest for the murder of the 4 people in White Plains. All three of the Gunmen say she's innocent, but Mulder could care less, they're under arrest as well (Mulder, how could you?!) and he tells them to lie on the floor. Susanne is slowly backing away from Mulder and he yells at her to stop, when we hear footsteps behind her. Two men in suits arrive, saying Susanne has to go with them. Mulder tells them he's FBI and orders them to identify themselves. Getting no reply, he aims his gun at them, repeating the order. Next thing we know, they've drawn guns as well and a rootin', tootin' gun battle breaks out. Mulder foolishly ducks down next to the asthma inhalers box and we see the bad guys are shooting holes in the box, not shooting at him, per se. As the toxic mist starts to land on Mulder, he cries out in pain, begins stripping off his clothes and is writhing on the floor almost naked as the men walk towards him. They stand over him, ready to shoot when 2 shots ring out, sending them both to the floor. Smoke still curling from her gun, we see that Susanne was the shooter (pretty darn good shot for a chemist, don't ya think?) as she drops the gun and walks over to check on Mulder. She stands over him as he continues to writhe shirt-less on the floor, a slight smile passes her lips and she steps over him, beginning to run. The Lone Gunmen step out of their hiding places, Byers yells for Susanne, then a light goes on behind them, the door has been opened. Men in gas masks walk in, one waving some kind of sensory equipment to test the air as the Gunmen look on, amazed and confused. Satisfied that the air is not toxic, the men remove their masks and step aside to clear a path for another man. From the darkness outside, a man enters, his face finally revealed as he approaches the light. It's X, Mulder's informant that was killed in Herrenvolk, nice to see ya, fella! He walks past the Gunmen, steps over the dead bodies and stands looming over Mulder. "Sanitize it", he orders and the man with him scurries off. He then glares menacingly at the Lone Gunmen.

The clean up operation is underway, as Mulder (now naked, somehow) crawls into a box. He looks up at the men working away, but his vision blurs and he sees them as aliens, which causes him to quietly say, "they're here". As X oversees, some men begin to put the two dead bodies into body bags, but one declares, "I'm alive!". The man bagging him looks at X, he says nothing and the bag is zipped up (what a meanie!). As the bags are dragged away, the Gunmen are standing in the middle of all the action and one yells, "Who are you people?" as a forklift arrives to take away the box of inhalers. X stoops to pick up Susanne's gun, as Byers asks, "what authority do you have to do this?" and Langly tells him to shut up. X ignores them and goes to where Mulder is lying. He's asked, "Bag him?" by one of the men, but he says, as he leans over Mulder, "No one touches this man." Oooooo! Byers questions X again, asks why they framed Susanne and will test this spray on the public. X looks at him and says to his helper, "no bags". The boys are forced to their knees and as they kneel there, hands in the air, X checks the gun and walks behind them. Gulp! He points his gun at Byers' head, pulls the trigger and ... click. The gun was empty, whew. He says "Behave yourselves" and walks away. Byers just won't keep quiet, though, and turns his head to yell at X. Is that it? You just want to intimidate us to keep us quiet? Frohike warns Byers that if he doesn't shut up, he'll kill him himself, but Byers continues, saying it's all true what Susanne said about them, about JFK and Dallas. X turns and says, "I heard it was a lone gunman" before disappearing into the night as we hear the police sirens wail in the background. Ah yes, that X, he always got the killer exit lines :-)

Flashback over, we're now back with Munch and Byers as he wraps up his tale. Munch asks, "Do I look like Geraldo to you?" and says Byers is lying to him. We now see the boys in their cell, waking up, Langly upset that it wasn't all a bad dream. Frohike tells Byers that although she *was* hot, they're all there because of Susanne, but Byers says he was merely looking for the truth, weren't they? He's glad she opened his eyes and if he could help her further, he would. As they all contemplate that statement, Munch arrives to tell them Mulder has verified their tale, what he can remember of it, and they're free to go. As they exit, Munch can't help but pass on a tip, "aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and it blocks out the government's mind control rays." The boys go to pick up their belongings and when the officer pulls out Langly's VCR/TV splitter thingy, Munch swiftly pockets it as he's called away by another officer and told that a stolen car, Mulder's, was found at the train station. Munch leaves to investigate and Byers gathers the boys together. He surmises that Susanne must have stolen Mulder's car, they need to find her, but she probably didn't get on a train, that was merely a ruse to fool the cops. Langly says she wanted to go public and Frohike says The Baltimore Guardian (fake newspaper) is only a few blocks from the train station.

Susanne exits the Guardian building and walks down the street when she hears Byers call her name. She stops and turns to greet him as we see Frohike and Langly knock some poor guy flat on his back in their haste. Susanne tells Byers the Guardian didn't believe her story, who would? But she'll keep trying, going to TV stations and newspapers until someone believes her, like he did. Byers says they still want to help her and she smiles, kissing him softly on the lips, his eyes staying closed a few moments after the kiss is broken, savouring it. "You already have" she says and the phone in the booth behind her begins to ring. They all look at the phone and each other as she says, "No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough." Telling them to tell the truth, that's their weapon, she runs off, directly into the path of a black car that screeches to a halt as a man forces her into the back seat. The car moves in slow motion as it passes The Lone Gunmen, X's face glaring out at them from the back seat passenger side, Susanne seated beside him. They watch helplessly as the car drives away.

The boys are now seated in the convention centre as the booths are being torn apart and put away, Byers picking up some of his FCC buttons, and they stand as Mulder approaches. Asked if he feels better, he tells them that he does, but he has "these weird ideas in my head that I can't seem to shake." Langly asks if he's going to bust them and Mulder says he's not sure, he's been told that Susanne is no longer wanted by the FBI and the case has been suddenly closed. Mulder needs them to tell him what happened the night before and Byers asks, "you want the truth?". Mulder says yes, of course, and is told to sit down, this may take a while. They all sit down, the camera pans to an overhead shot as Byers tells Mulder that the government is secretly watching all of us. Mulder says, "What?!", Frohike says, "tell him about the bibles" and Byers continues to spin his tale as the scene fades away.

Notes

I was a little surprised to receive an email asking who the heck The Lone Gunmen are, but I do forget about the new fans sometimes, so here's a guide to their previous appearances to help you catch-up:

We first met them in season one, "E.B.E.", then nothing until season 2's eps "Blood", "One Breath", "Fearful Symmetry" (Frohike and Byers only) and the season ender, "Anasazi". Season 3 saw them appear in "The Blessing Way" (Frohike only), "Paper Clip", "Nisei", "Apocrypha" and "Wetwired". In season four, we only saw them in a measly three eps, "Musings Of A Cigarette Smoking Man" (only in a voice role, we don't see them), "Small Potatoes" (another voice only appearance, Langly and Frohike) and "Memento Mori". So far in season five, we've seen them in "Redux", "Redux 2" and, of course, here in tonight's offering "Unusual Suspects". If anyone disagrees with this info, feel free to tell me so, I'm going by cast lists alone, not a photographic memory.

The following paragraph gives away the main plotline of the movie "The Usual Suspects", skip it if you haven't seen it. And if you haven't, go rent it, I highly recommend it myself. With a title like "Unusual Suspects", I knew we'd have some sort of homage to the movie, and boy, did we! The print ad for this episode was similar to the movie's ad, a line-up, with Frohike obviously standing on a box to reach the same height as the other men. The opening scene, which was hard to understand until we saw it again near the end, was another nod to the movie which did the same thing. The bickering in the jail cell, even the position of the three benches, was the same as the movie. And, finally, yet most importantly, who was Keyser Soze in this ep? The scene where we see "Holly" take her name from the sugar packet was a classic, as it mirrored how Kevin Spacey's character in the movie built his tale around the objects in the detective's office. If only because he was an evil presence looming over the story, and because we saw him drive off near the end, I go with Mr. X being Keyser in our story, don't you? But then again, *was* Kevin Spacey really Keyser? Hmmm... ;-)

I was a little confused about the "my kung fu is best" line myself until the helpful folks online came through with the goods. Apparently, one of the most famous computer hackers in history, Kevin Mitnick, would call and tease a famous security expert with a voice mail message saying, "My

Kung Fu is the best." This expert eventually tracked him down, putting him in jail for a long time and wrote a book called "Takedown" <http://www.takedown.com> about the whole thing.

Were you confused when you saw the Dig-Dug guy listed in the credits as playing "himself"? Who the heck is Ken Hawryliw, you ask? Why, he's the prop master for the show, been on the team from the very beginning, shame on you for not memorizing his name! Kudos to Autumn Tysko <http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Vault/1411/main_rev.html> for remembering for the rest of us.

I've heard that the scene with Mulder naked in a box reminded people of Jim Profit from the show "Profit", but I never watched it, so I'm just passing it on.

Not sure why, but you can clearly see "Mulder's" wedding band on his left hand in a few scenes. Was David Duchovny sending a message to his wife, Tea? Who knows, but there was no reason for it to be there at all. Sloppy work, if you ask me.

Although his appearance was wasted a bit, it was nice to see Det. Munch and his line, "Do I look like Geraldo to you?" was a direct sendup of a line he used on his regular show, "Homicide: Life On The Streets", which was, "Do I look like Montel Williams to you?".

Signy Coleman <http://199.173.162.18/daytime/yr/bios/scoleman.shtml>, the actress that played Susanne, was familiar to many viewers from the soap opera, The Young and The Restless, where her character was blind. More than a few people must have jumped when she first appeared here in her dark glasses, hey, maybe she IS blind? Nope, just a darn good actress, and an excellent choice to replace Marita (the UNblonde) in the series should anything untoward ever happen to her, heaven forbid ;-)

So, in the end, just how much did we learn? It's interesting to note that Mulder's therapy session tape, the one Scully listens to in Conduit was made on June 16, 1989, a few weeks after this episode takes place. So where did those "weird ideas" of his come from? Has his whole paranoid persona been planned from the beginning? Maybe he didn't think aliens took his sister until after he was sprayed with this paranoid spray, isn't that a scary thought? And why does X say, "No one touches this man."?! If it does turn out that Mulder has been under the effects of this spray for the last four years, I'm telling you right now, heads will roll and I'll take no prisoners! I can't seriously believe this is true, but it does raise some interesting questions, doesn't it?

If you read between the lines of my plotline, you'll see that I firmly believe Susanne was a plant. In my opinion, she was directed to the convention to find someone to decode the file, thus leading Mulder to the warehouse. Her tooth extraction looked too fake, and I don't mean movie-fake either, and she's too good a shot to be a scientist! Plus, I think the phone ringing at the end was her cue to be picked up. She just happened to run directly into the path of the car and looked a little too calm and collected in the back seat as it drove away.

To clear up one nitpick, no, the Lone Gunmen never had contact with X again, not that we've seen, so they wouldn't be able to alert Mulder in his future contacts with him. And Mulder never did see X in tonight's ep, he saw aliens, remember? So he wouldn't have any recall of this first meeting.

Although we did find out Byers and Frohike's real names, Langly remains first name-less. An earlier script had him called Ringo Langly, not sure why it wasn't used here.

As for myself, I loved this ep. The humour and the interaction between the pre-Gunmen was a joy to behold, but to really appreciate it, you did have to know who they were and how they tied in with Mulder in the future. Alas, the newbies missed out on that nuance. Chalk another one up to the long-time fans, thanks for the gift gang!

Quotes

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In the jail cell, Byers leaning against the front, hands through the bars, looking at his fingerprint ink stained fingers

Langly: "We're screwed. Thank you so much for getting me involved in this, DO-hickey."

Frohike: "Frohike, you hippie jerk."

Langly: "DO-hickey!"

Frohike: "Ya know, with that long blonde hair, you'll be the first one in here that gets traded for

cigarettes. I'm gonna be laughing my ass off."

Langly: "Oh yeah? Ya wanna cha-cha."

Frohike: "Anytime, any place."

Byers: "Both of you relax!"

Langly: "Shut up, ya narc!"

Frohike: "It's your fault we're here."

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Det. Munch: "Detective Munch, Baltimore Homicide."

Byers: "Did they find her?"

Det. Munch: "And a good evening to you. Sorry, no sign of your mystery lady."

Byers: "She *is* real, the FBI agent saw her."

Det. Munch: "Yeah well, Special Agent .. (checks his notes) .. Mulder? Is currently being held

under five-point restraints and jabbering like a monkey. And the FBI's not talking

either. So, what I'm looking at here is a warehouse break-in with nothing stolen, a

shoot-out but no guns, lots of blood but no bodies. And an FBI agent who likes to

take off all his clothes and talk about space aliens. Fill me in. From the top, start with

your name and birthdate."

Byers: "John Fitzgerald Byers, 11/22/63."

Det. Munch: "Seriously."

Byers: "I was named after JFK. Before the assassination, my parents were going to call me

Bertram."

Det. Munch: "Lucky you."

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Susanne arrives at Frohike's booth, Frohike Electronics Corp., check out the logo with Frohike's face

Frohike: "Hello pretty lady! Picture this, crystal-clear television, 33 channels worth with no monthly

cable bill."

Susanne: "Excuse me?"

Frohike: "Now, I know what you're thinking, Melvin, are you out of your mind? No cable bill? That's

exactly what I'm saying, and I'm talking premium channels here too, you got your HBO,

you got your Cinemax, you got your Showtime. All courtesy of this modestly priced marvel

designed and built by the Frohike Electronics Corporation." (he pulls out what looks like a

VCR/TV splitter)

Langly: (from behind the dividing curtain) "There's a name that inspires consumer confidence."

Frohike: (to the curtain) "Shut up, punk! (to Susanne) Where were we?"

Langly: (pulls curtain away, we see his booth and name, Langly Vision) "Hey lady, if you want to

watch "Matlock" with Andy Griffith all blue and squiggly, go right ahead and buy from this

guy. But, if you want quality bootleg cable, you talk to me."

Frohike: "If you want a converter that'll short out and burn your house down, definitely talk to this

guy."

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Mulder passes in front of Frohike's booth

Frohike: "Sir, could I interest you in 33 channels crystal-clear reception?"

Mulder: "No thanks, handsome."

Frohike: "Oh, a man of distinction ... (after he's gone) ... Punkass."

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Frohike: "I don't understand, why don't you just kick this guy's ass?".

Byers: "What?"

Susanne: "No. I just want these pages decoded, can you do that?"

Frohike: "Sure, baby, my kung fu is the best, but it could take hours, I say cut to the chase. If

pretty boy out there can tell us where your daughter is, we just need to go beat it out of him."

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as they hide from Mulder, watching him, Frohike wearing a virtual reality helmet

Frohike: "This dude doesn't look so tough. (Mulder turns towards them) Act casual."

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as Byers' Dig-Dug buddy is dragged away by the MPs

Byers: "Wait ... it was me."

Frohike: "What are you doing?"

Byers: "*I* hacked into their computer."

Frohike: "So you're gonna turn yourself in, are you crazy? A hacker never turns himself in!"

Byers: "I am not a *hacker*."

Frohike: "Listen, we got FBI agents running around, military police. Whatever the hell is going on

around here, it's big. And your lady friend is somehow at the center of it all."

Byers: "She needs my help. How can we learn what's going on?"

Frohike: "The FBI are looking for her, hack into the FBI mainframe. I know just the guy who can do

it."

Byers: "You are talking about a pre-meditated crime against the United States government."

Frohike: "Hey, your second one today. (he rips off Byers' FCC button) Welcome to the dark side."

scene changes to a dark room, men seated around a table, we hear Langly's voice as the camera pans over the men's faces

Langly: "Okay ladies, who's down for fifty? ... Fifty bucks ... Anyone? ... Fifty bucks ... Oh man, my

diaper-wearing granny would bet fifty! ... Come on! ... There's no game here."

Man at table: "All right, fifty."

Langly: "Elron the Druid bets fifty. Cash only, Elron, I don't take no personal cheques from the

Bank of Middle Earth. (takes dice and begins to rattle them in his hands) Come on natural

20, Daddy needs a new sword of wounding. (door opens letting light flood into the room,

Frohike and Byers are standing there, Langly jumps up and rushes to the door) What's

the big idea bringing the narc in here?"

Frohike: "Me and the narc have a proposition for you."

Langly: "What proposition?"

Frohike: "The coolest hack in the world."

Another man at the table: "Lord Manhammer..."

Langly: (to Frohike) "Say it .... Say it."

Frohike: "Your kung fu is the best." (Langly grins)

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Susanne: "Secret forces within the government plan to test this gas on the American people right

here in Baltimore! (The Lone Gunmen all look at each other, figuring she's flipped her

lid) I am not making this up. Don't you get it, nobody is safe! Look what they did to JFK!"

Byers: "What did they do to JFK?"

Susanne: "Dallas? 1963? Hello?! They want to control every aspect of our lives, from the cradle to

the grave. They practically do already. (she starts pulling open the drawers next to the

hotel beds as the boys exchange looks, and finally pulls out a Bible) Hotel Bible, who do

you think put this here?"

Langly: "The government?"

Susanne: "One in every hotel room in America, it's the perfect vessel for electronic surveillance.

No one ever questions its presence."

Frohike: "Now, I'm sorry, you're telling me that the US government, the same government that

gave us Amtrack ..."

Langly: (interrupts him) "Not to mention the Susan B. Anthony dollar."

Frohike: "... is behind some of the darkest, most far-reaching conspiracies on the planet?!

That's just crazy!"

Langly: "I mean, like, this guy works for the government." (indicating Byers)

Susanne: "I'll prove it to you, just help me decipher this. (as she picks up the file, her gun falls to

the floor, startling the boys) What do you say guys?"

Byers: (in voiceover) "Of course, at that point, we didn't feel like we had much choice."

____________________________________________________________

X: "Sanitize it."

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in the warehouse, after X arrives

Byers: "What authority do you have to do this?"

Langly: "Shut up, Byers!"

X glares at them and walks over to Mulder lying on the floor

Clean-up guy: "Bag him?"

X: (he leans over Mulder) "No one touches this man."

Byers: "Excuse me."

Langly: "Byers..."

Byers: "Sir! Why are you doing this? You people framed Susanne Modeski, you plan to test that

chemical on an unwitting public. Why? For what possible reason?"

Frohike: "Byers, shut up!"

Byers: "Who gives you the authority?"

X: (looks at him and says to his helper) "No bags. (the boys are forced to their knees, hands in the

air, X checks the gun and walks behind them. He points his gun at Byers' head, pulls the trigger

and ... click. The gun was empty.) Behave yourselves." (he begins to walks away)

Byers: "That's it? Just trying to intimidate us, to scare us so we'll keep quiet?"

Frohike: "Byers, I swear to God, I'll shoot you myself."

Byers: "It's all true what Susanne said about you people, isn't it? About John F. Kennedy? Dallas?"

X: "I heard it was a lone gunman."

____________________________________________________________

Munch: "Do I look like Geraldo to you? Don't lie to me like I'm Geraldo, I'm *not* Geraldo!"

____________________________________________________________

Munch: "Apparently Agent Mulder came to and verified your warehouse story, or at least what little

he seems to recall of it. Three cheers for the FBI, you guys are free to go. Come on, let's

go. Here's a tip, aluminum foil makes a lovely hat and it blocks out the government's mind

control rays. Keep you guys out of trouble."

____________________________________________________________

Susanne: "No matter how paranoid you are, you're not paranoid enough."

____________________________________________________________

Frohike: "Ya feeling better?"

Mulder: "Yeah I am, thank you, I just ... ummm ... I have these weird ideas in my head that I can't

seem to shake."

Frohike: "What kind of ideas?"

Mulder: "Weird ones."

Langly: "Ya gonna bust us?"

Mulder: "I'm not sure yet, I just spoke with my ASAC and he tells me that Dr. Susanne Modeski is

no longer wanted by the FBI. She's still missing, but the case has suddenly closed. What

I need from you guys is to tell me what the hell happened last night."

Byers: "You want the truth."

Mulder: "Yeah, I want the truth."

Byers: "You might want to sit down, this is gonna take a while. (they all sit down) The truth is ...

none of us is safe. Secret elements within the United States government seek to surveil us

and control our lives."

Mulder: "What?!"

Langly: "Tell him about the hotel room Bibles."