The X-Files - 4.

French title: La queue du diable
translation: The Tail of the Devil

US Airdate: April 20, 1997

writer: Vince Gilligan

director: Cliff Bole

STARRING:

David Duchovny as Special Agent Fox Mulder

Gillian Anderson as Special Agent Dana Scully

Guest Cast:

MITCH PILEGGI as Assistant Director Skinner

CHRISTINE CAVANAUGH as Amanda Nelligan

CONSTANCE BARNES as O.R. Nurse

CARRIE CAIN SPARKS as Duty Nurse

MONICA GEMMER as Second Nurse

DARIN MORGAN as Eddie Van Blundht

P. LYNN JOHNSON as Health Department Doctor

DAVID CAMERON as the Deputy

THE AGENTS SEARCH FOR A MAN WHO POSSESSES THE ABILITY TO CHANGE FORM.

Doctors in Martinsburg, West Virginia, attend to a woman, Amanda Nelligan, as she goes into labor. When a nurse asks about the baby's father, Amanda tells her that the child's father is from another planet. When the baby is delivered, those in attendance gasp in horror when they see that the crying newborn has a four-inch tail.

Word of the strange birth is spread by newspaper tabloids, and Mulder and Scully travel to Martinsburg to investigate. During the drive, Mulder notes that five babies were born with vestigial tails over the course of three months -- all within a city of less than 15,000 people. Scully hypothesizes that the abnormalities may be attributable to ground water contamination or prescription drug interaction.

At the hospital, Amanda, a Star Wars fan, tells the agents the baby's father is Luke Skywalker. She recounts the tale of how Luke Skywalker came to her home and romanced her. With the assistance of a Health Department doctor, Scully determines that each of the five children born with tails share the same father. Mulder notes that all five women also shared the same fertility specialist, Dr. Alton Pugh.

When the agents arrive at Pugh's office, they discover several angry couples confronting the doctor about the births. As Mulder looks around the doctor's office, he encounters a janitor, Eddie Van Blundht, fixing a leaky sink inside an exam room and notices above his sagging pants a feint, roughly triangular scar at the base of the man's spine. Eddie tries to run, but is quickly apprehended and taken into custody. All of the women present swear that the only person they have had sex with has been their husbands. Later, a paternity test reveals that Eddie is the father of all five children. Scully hypothesizes that he may have used the tranquilizer Rohypnol to incapacitate his victims. Eddie, a homely man, responds defensively at the inference that the only reason a woman would have sex with him is if she was coerced.

While a sheriff's deputy is filling out his arrest record, Eddie suddenly changes form, metamorphosing into an exact duplicate of the deputy. Eddie strikes the astonished deputy on the head and makes his getaway. After questioning the deputy, Mulder concludes that Eddie impregnated four of the five women by making himself look like their husbands. The fifth woman, Amanda, was tricked into believing she was making love to Luke Skywalker.

The agents travel to the Van Blundht residence, where they meet Edward Sr. He claims he once performed as "Eddie the Monkey Man" and still has his tail intact. As they talk to him they realize the old man is, in fact, Eddie Jr. in a different form. Eddie suddenly runs out of the house and disappears into the neighborhood. After searching the house they discover the mummified body of the real Edward Sr. inside the attic. Scully's autopsy reveals an anomalous muscular structure beneath the surface of the corpse's skin. Essentially the man's skin was also a muscle. Mulder speculates that if Eddie inherited this same trait, it would explain his ability to change form. Meanwhile, Eddie metamorphoses once again -- this time into a duplicate Mulder. The real Mulder tracks him to a locker room at the hospital where Amanda Nelligan is staying. Suddenly, Eddie bursts through the ceiling, knocking him to the ground. He ties up the real Mulder and locks him inside the hospital's boiler room.

Pretending to be Mulder, Eddie returns to Washington with Scully, files a report with Assistant Director Skinner and closes the case. Later, the fake Mulder shows up at Scully's apartment with a bottle of wine. After spending the evening having relaxing conversation and relating in a personal rather than professional manner, Scully tells the fake Mulder, "I really feel like I'm seeing a different side of you tonight." The fake Mulder leans in close, and prepares to give her a kiss. Just as their lips are about to meet, the real Mulder kicks in the front door and interrupts them. Eddie slumps back on the couch, thwarted, and transforms back to his normal appearance and is taken into custody.

Actress Christine Cavanaugh's voice may be familiar if you're a parent. Not only does she do voice work for the cartoon "Rugrats", but she will go down in history as the voice of "Babe", the Gallant Pig.

After seeing this, I swear I will never doubt David Duchovny's acting abilities again, what a pure delight he was to watch as the fake Mulder! I have never laughed this hard in a one-hour time slot. The faces he made as Skinner and Scully discussed Eddie, the scene in Mulder's office as he nearly fell out of the chair and the whole scene where he explored Mulder's apartment were classics. When The X-Files are all wrapped up, probably after next season, David may want to consider a career in comedic roles.

Don't even get me started on Darin Morgan, so glad to see him again, and we finally get to see the "real" Darin as opposed to the Flukeman, his only other on camera role, in The Host, under all that latex. And no offence to writer Vince Gilligan, but I'm sure Darin MUST have had a hand in writing this ep.

I got a kick out of the whole "silent H" bit. Did you catch the H falling off the outside of Eddie Sr.'s house? And you just know this had to be a dig at David Duc"H"ovny, especially when Eddie says "I think it's Dutch."

Get your pencils out kids, here's Mulder's address and info from his FBI badge:

License # 123-32-132...

LIC (maybe) DATE: 12-13-94

EXP. DATE: 03-31-99

DOB: 10-13-61

Sex: M HT: 6-0

Mulder, Fox

42-2630 Hegal Place

Alexandria, VA 23242

The first date is very hard to see, could be 1st, or maybe LIC (for licence). The name of the street, Hegal, may be a reference to a philosopher named Hegel who's famous for writing essays on the subject of doubt. And the number 2630 is the correct location of the exterior shots used of Mulder's apartment, on York Ave. in Vancouver.

The song playing during the "seduction" scene is Al Green's "Ain't It Funny How Time Slips Away".

As a matter of interest, on June 22, 1997, TV Guide here in North America rated the top 100 television episodes of all-time beginning with "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" (1975), "Chuckles Bites the Dust" and ending with "Friends" (1996), "The One With the Prom Video". This classic X-Files episode rated as number 72, which may seem rather low on the list, but is pretty darn good considering it had only aired two months before the list came out.

All in all this was a nice change from the usual tension and drama, a break to prepare us for the upcoming four remaining eps this season, let the games begin!

Nurse: "Now is there anyone you need us to contact? The father of the baby?"

Amanda: (shakes her head) "I'm not sure how to get a hold of him."

Nurse: "If you give me his name I can try."

Amanda: "He's not from around here."

Nurse: "Is he from out-of-state?"

Amanda: "Another planet."

____________________________________________________________

(looking at cover of tabloid on her lap, headline "Did West Virginia Women Mate With Visitors From Space?")

Scully: "So what else interests you about this case? Could it be...visitors from space?"

____________________________________________________________

Amanda: "The doctors said that my baby, she's...she's gonna be fine, she's really healthy and when she gets to be a few months old, it's just a matter of...(makes scissors motion with her fingers) snip."

Mulder: (leaning forward in his chair, very serious) "That's good to hear."

Amanda: "Yeah."

Scully: "Did you experience any unusual complications during your pregnancy Amanda? Did you undergo any kind of fertility treatment?"

Amanda: (laughs) "No, I wasn't trying to get pregnant. I guess you could just sorta say I'm a single mom now."

Mulder: "When you were admitted, you said that the baby's father was from another planet. What did you mean by that exactly?"

Amanda: "Well, you know, that he's not from this planet."

Mulder: (nods) "Were you abducted?"

Amanda: "Huh?...No, no, he...dropped by my apartment one day and, you know, one thing sorta lead to the other."

Mulder: "But the baby's father *is* an alien?"

Amanda: "No, no, I didn't say he was an alien, I just said he was from another planet. (Mulder nods his head, adopts a blank stare) His name was Luke Skywalker, he's what's they call a Jedi Knight." (Mulder drops back in his chair, looking dejected, glances over his shoulder at Scully)

Scully: "Did he have a light saber?"

Amanda: "No he didn't bring it. (Mulder smiles condescendingly) He did sing this song to me though." (she starts singing the theme from "Star Wars" as Mulder gets up and walks to door)

Scully: "How many times *have* you seen Star Wars?"

Amanda: "368... I should be up to 400 by Memorial Day."

____________________________________________________________

(as they look at medical data that shows all 5 tail-babies had the same father)

Mulder: "Meaning the father had a tail as well?"

Scully: "Though he most likely had it surgically removed somewhere along the way."

Mulder: "How would this happen?"

Scully: "Birds and the bees and the monkey babies, Mulder."

Mulder: "Birds do it, bees do it, even educated M.D.'s do it?"

____________________________________________________________

Scully: (throws down file folders marked "Paternity Tests" with the name "Van Blundt, Edward H." on each one) "Five out of five."

Eddie: "You spelled my name wrong. It's "Van Blundht" with a silent H. B, L, U, N, D, *H*, T."

Mulder: "Oh we'll get right on that."

Eddie: "Lots of people spell it wrong, it's like Dutch or something. Can I go now?"

Scully: "No, there's a few things we have to clear up first."

Mulder: "Yeah, like how'd you do it?"

Eddie: "Whaddya mean *how'd* I do it?"

Scully: "You're the father of 5 children, Mr. Van Blundht, is that not news to you? (Eddie shrugs)

Do you have any insight into how five women came to be impregnated with your sperm?"

Eddie: "You make it sound so romantic."

Mulder: "So you're saying there was romance involved?"

Eddie: "Why is *that* so hard to believe? Just 'cause I was born with a tail no woman would want me? Maybe I got...personality, ya ever think of that?"

Scully: "You had sex with these women? How is it that none of them have any recollection whatsoever of that happening?"

Eddie: "Look, I'm not saying anything one way or another, I'm just saying, hypothetically, if some women wanted to have kids and their husbands weren't *capable* and everybody was happy and nobody got hurt, well hypothetically, where's the crime?!" (Mulder and Scully leave the room)

Mulder: "If you're waiting for my usual theory as to what's going on, I don't have one."

Scully: "I do. On behalf of all the women in the world, I seriously doubt this has anything to do with consensual sex."

____________________________________________________________

(after Scully's theory about Eddie slipping a drug into the women's drinks)

Mulder: "Yeah, but when and where would he have had the opportunity to slip it to them?"

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "I have a theory, wanna hear it?"

Scully: "That Van Blundht somehow physically transformed into his captor, then walked out the door, leaving no one the wiser?"

Mulder: "Scully, should we be picking out china patterns or what?"

Scully: "Mulder, why can't you just go for the simple answer? With that blow to the head, the deputy might just as well have identified McGruff the Crime Dog as his attacker!"

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "We've both seen something like this before Scully."

Scully: "But what are you saying? That Van Blundht is an alien?"

Mulder: "Not unless they have trailer parks in space. No, this is something different."

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "Hey Scully, if you could be somebody else for a day, who would it be?"

Scully: "Hopefully myself."

Mulder: "That's so boring. I mean, wouldn't you even be tempted to try on somebody else's existence for a day? Live your life as somebody else?"

Scully: "*Looking* like someone else and *being* someone else are completely different things."

Mulder: "Well, maybe it's not, I mean everybody else around you would treat you like you were somebody else. I mean, ultimately, maybe it's other people's reactions to us that make us who we are."

Scully: "Alright then, Eleanor Roosevelt."

Mulder: (does double-take and winces) "Aiiee. Can't be a dead person."

Scully: "Why the hell not?" (Mulder is eyeballing guy doing yard work next door, he turns and walks back to door, letter H falling off the outside of the house)

Mulder: "Because."

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: (looking at old-time poster on wall that reads "See Eddie the Monkey Man - magician illusionist") "Is this you?"

Eddie Sr.: (frames his face with his fingers) "One and the same! Hey, you wanna see?" (starts to undo pants as Mulder grins and nods)

Scully: "No! No...no thank you." (both Mulder and Eddie Sr. look disappointed)

Eddie Sr.: "My son had his removed when he was just a kid. Kept buggin' me and buggin' me until...(finds something he was looking for and picks it up, I thought for sure it would be the tail in a jar!) until I finally let him do it. There ya go. (he hands Mulder a magazine called Glimpse with a cover picture of a young boy on a hospital gurney, doctors around him holding up his tail, headline reads "The Tale Of A Tail") I told him it was a mistake. I said 'son, you ain't much to look at, you ain't no athlete and you sure the hell ain't no Einstein, but at least ya got that tail, otherwise you're just small potatoes', but he didn't listen."

____________________________________________________________

(in the autopsy room with the quick-limed body of the real Eddie Sr., Mulder is touching the body, his back to Scully)

Scully: "This man's body is quite a scientific specimen and thankfully preserved and intact." (on the word "intact" Mulder snaps off the tail)

____________________________________________________________

Skinner: "Which one of you wrote this?"

Mulder: "I did, sir."

Skinner: "You spelled 'Federal Bureau of Investigation' wrong."

Mulder: "It was a typo."

Skinner: "Twice."

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "Where the hell do I sleep?"

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: (looking around "his" office) "Good night! This is where my tax dollars go?"

____________________________________________________________

Mulder: "Geeks for friends."

____________________________________________________________

Scully: "I can't believe I'm telling you this!"

Mulder: "I don't believe you haven't told me before."

Scully: "Now I'm seeing a whole new side of you, Mulder."

Mulder: "Is that a good thing?"

Scully: "I like it."

Mulder: "Do you ever wish things were different?"

Scully: "What do you mean?"

Mulder: "The person you wanted to be when you grew up, when you were in high school, how far off from that did you end up?"

Scully: "Career-wise? Miles off target."

Mulder: "Na, na, na, not just that. Do ya ever wish that you could go back and do it all differently?"

Scully: "Do you?" (he leans in for a kiss....)

____________________________________________________________

Eddie: "Thanks for coming."

Mulder: "What's with the hat?" (gaudy red hat with the word "Superstar!" on it)

Eddie: "My court-appointed therapist makes me wear it, she says it's meant to bolster my self-esteem."

Mulder: "Does it?"

Eddie: "Not really. The other inmates just beat me up and take it from me. Which would be okay, except every week she brings me a new hat! Plus they keep me on some kind of muscle relaxant so I can't make faces the way I used to. Did *you* tell them to do that? Is uhh...is Agent Scully here?"

Mulder: "What did you want to talk to me about Eddie?"

Eddie: "I just think it's funny. I was *born* a loser, but you're one by choice."

Mulder: "On what do you base that astute assessment?"

Eddie: "Experience. You should live a little, treat yourself. God knows I would ... if I were you."

____________________________________________________________

Scully: "I don't imagine you need to be told this Mulder, but you're not a loser."