Bumper Stickers

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

There's too much blood in my alcohol system.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

I need someone really bad... are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

Horn broken, watch for finger.

All men are idiots and I married their king.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.

My kid had sex with your honor student.

Psychic help wanted: you know where to apply.

Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools. Hang up and drive.

WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep

Born again pagan.

God must love stupid people, he made so many.

I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian